The Toddler Thief-Final Update

Wedding ring has been found, and Ian was not guilty. I put it on top of his bookcase one evening. So I blamed him for two things he didn't take, my camera and ring. My ring was found on top of Ian's bookcase by a Very irritated Casey. So all lost things have been returned to me and I was then told by Casey and my friend Kat that before I start blaming Ian for things I misplace.



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Toddler Thief-Update

Last week I mention that our house has been taken over by a thief. Well the next morning he came up to me while I was sitting on the couch and hands me my glasses back. I guess he thought mama might need these. Still no luck with the wedding ring, which I know for sure he took. I know it is my fault he got a hold of it. Casey is quiet upset at me for losing it, well I then kindly remind him he permanently lost his once will walking FootFoot. Yes he lost his wedding band after we had only been married around 3 months and we have never replaced it, the ring isn't as important as the words we said to each other. You might also recall that I blamed the thief of stilling my camera, well it was found shoved way in the couch cushions. It could have been him or it could have been me editing pictures on the couch and then it falling in the cushions. So I need to start looking around before I automatically blame Ian. Though 75% of the time if I asking where something is he brings it to me, so what do you think?



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FlashBack Friday

Gone are the days where Friday night meant setting around with friends enjoying your drink of choice, where you quiet content to sit there with these friends and do nothing. Well nothing until a certain friend decides at 10pm they want to get their tongue pierced, then one of your roommates who I might mention is a dirty hippie(I say that lovingly) decides he wants a prince albert(which he chickened out and didn't get once we got to the tattoo studio), and in the chaos I decide to get something pierced too. I am going to let you guess what I got pierced.
I am going to say some drinking had been happening when the decision to go was made but everyone still had their wits about them. Not saying after leaving that more drinking didn't happen, there might have been a trip to the local store (that would embarrass your grandma if she knew you went in their).


The funny part about that whole night was when we say the guy who got his tongue pierced had taken it out. He said it hurt, well duh dude. I am happy to say I am still rocking my piercing from that night, so Casey's money was not wasted. Man I miss the days of late night hanging with friends that all lived in the same town. Before the days of real jobs,schedules that have to be checked before plans can be made and a late night that is midnight now a days.


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Check out the rest of Flashback Fridays

When I first started doing Flashback Friday a few weeks ago I wasn't sure if I was going to do it regularly, but in the past few days I feel in love with the idea behind it. Through a blog post a week, I can give you a glimpse of the actions, living, and choices that make me the Bobbi Janay that you see today. I hope you enjoy the Flashbacks as much as I do.

The Toddler Thief

In the past few weeks, I have noticed small things disappearing around our place. Then in the last week my wedding ring, my camera, and lastly my glasses have disappeared. I thought I was misplacing these items, until today when I but my glasses down to snuggle with my loving little toddler. Well he got down after I dozed off for a second (Casey was home from work), and when I woke up like 10 minutes later reached to get my glasses, but they were gone. My house has been taken over by toddler thief.  Now I ask my readers, where should I look for my little thief's loot? Mostly I would like to find my wedding ring, I know that it is my own fault for leaving it where the toddler thief could reach and find it. Wish me luck as I go on a hunt for my missing goods.





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Truth

For three weeks I have been telling those that ask I am healing and starting to feel human again, well all lies. I don't feel any better the struggle to get out of bed every morning, even though I wake up to one happy healthy baby boy who I love with all my heart. I wonder if it would all be easier if I didn't wake up in the morning, yet I know that isn't the answer. I would miss all of Ian's smiles and hugs. Part of me hates my husband right now, he seems to have forgotten I was every pregnant. To him it was all like a dream and now that Ryan is gone means nothing to him. Most days I want to runaway, and dream of never coming back. Yes I would miss my family, but sometimes the idea of starting over seems so nice. I know that this my seem all over dramatic to some, since I was only 13 weeks pregnant with Ryan. It isn't it is how I feel I am so drowning in the darkness, I always thought that my family would understand that it isn't something you get over, in a week. Already I am getting questioned about when we will try again, I don't know it this is meant to make me feel better but it doesn't, it only hurts more. Stop asking at the moment I don't know if, I ever want to go through pregnancy again. Please don't tell me that is just a feeling it will pass, I don't know if it will. I wish my husband was open to the call of adoption, I would love to adopt. I wouldn't want Ian to be an only child(I don't have anything against it, I am an only child and I loved my childhood). I also need to get back on my walk with God, I am so lost right now. I know that part of it is I am married to a man who grew up in a christian home and is saved but no doubts his beliefs. We have had many a fight about this, so much so that I can't talk about anymore with out crying. I need God and a church home to make me feel whole, I want Ian to grow up with the same love and faith I had. I guess I have aired enough of our dirty laundry for one night.



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FlashBack Friday

Today I will be flashing back to 2007 and a fun outdoor concert with a childhood friend we will call him Cake(name will be changed once permission is granted to use it) it was part of his nick name in high school. Cake and I have a love of Texas Country music, well every spring 95.9 The Ranch puts on a free concert series. Well after bugging me for weeks to drive from McKinney to Ft. Worth, I caved and went to go see Casey Donahew and No Justice. Well I was impressed with the music and hanging out with a good friend. Meeting Casey Donahew was also super cool.

The day was going along great, I got see a good friend here good music and spend some time in Ft. Worth (man I miss that town). The day did not end so well, remember the summer of 2007 here in N. Texas was the summer of rain, rain and more rain. Well driving home it started pouring down rain while I was on 75 northbound, I was almost home when a 16 year old hydroplaned and took out Bob2. Bob2 was my 89' Honda Accord. Man I miss that car, it was the very first car I ever owned outright.

No that I look back on that day it started out great and ended with a phone call to a sleeping husband. Who when I told I had an accident first question wasn't was are ok, was are you drunk? I was like no I had one beer like 4 hours ago. When I called my friend later that night to tell him what happened and to tell I was finally home(it is thing with my friends and I call when you get where you are going, the story behind it is it's on post), was like I was worried that had happened. I wouldn't change anything about that day or time in my life I was a newlywed, happy and enjoying life(I am not going to lie I was looking good too, man I have gotten fat). Catch you next week and what's your flashback?




Make sure to go check all the flashbacks this Friday

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19 Days

I turn 25 in 19 days, every birthday is important to me no matter what the number says. With great luck I still walk this Earth after many close calls, a few to close for comfort. So as the quarter century mark gets closer and closer it is an exciting thing to me, I can't wait. So after reading Laura's birthday idea post, I thought heck why not do one myself. The last fews over hear have been kinda heavy so it is time for something fun.


Bobbi Janay's 25th Birthday Wishlist


ibert

Converse Chuck Taylor All Star

In Maroon or Green


Moment of Forever

Old Navy Camp Shirt Dress

Gap Eyelet Tank

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Never Alone

Since I was 17 my biggest fear was ending up alone, no not in the sense of with out a man. This is the fear of being with out the ones I love, my friends and family (which in my mind are one in the same). My family is some of my best friends and my friends might as well be family.

As the years have passed and I lost some of the ones I love, I have had to face this fear. In those moments I realized that the greatest gift anyone ever is given is those you love. As these moments happen I am saddened by the loss, because a piece of me is going with them. Not only are they taking a piece of me with them, but I losing someone who enriches my life.

The love, laughs, triumphs, and trials we shared helped shape me into the women I am today. I am grateful for every moment spent with them, some I lost because of my own mistakes, some for reasons I will never know, and some have left this earth. Each one has left a mark on my heart and as I have gotten older no matter what happens, I will never be alone. For that I am grateful because for all those I love and have ever loved make my life great.

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The above post is my entry for the Mabel's Labels BlogHer '10 Contest.

Weekend in Wonderland

Man this weekend flew by and for once I am grateful that. Normally we sit around and I beg Casey to do something. He is very much a homebody were on the other hand am a very social. I love spending time with friends and family, in my humble opinion if you are one of my friends you are my family.

It started out with hanging out with friends that Ian and I love. It ended with a day spent with my husband and son at a wonderful park. In between was a weekend full of making memories. Dinner with one of mine and Casey's old roommate and his girlfriend. That was a fun night that, I drank a little bit too much vanilla vodka, said some really dumb things, but the night as hole was much needed. Thanks to a loving husband I woke up sans hangover, he made sure I drank a ton of water before I went to bed. An adventure with Lauren and Avery to the Dallas Family Expo, it was a great to see and learn about lots of family friendly companies. I am so glad I finally found a Tupperware sales rep, there are some things they make that I have been wanting for along time. A random trip to Target after a meal at Freebirds. All those things add up to an amazing weekend.

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I am gonna get to BlogHer '10

Anne over at Megalomaniac Mommy is giving away a student pass to Blogher 2010 in Nyc. After purchasing her ticket to go to NYC, she found out she wouldn't be able to attend. Unlike some and instead of trying sell her ticket, she decided to be kind enough to give it away to one of readers.




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FlashBack Friday

Always when I look back at the photos from ChiliFest 2006, I get a smile on my face. That was the second year I attended that particular music festival, so I was way more prepared then the year before. That explains the cowboy boots with shorts it can get so hot but don't look down what you are walking in. That was the year Casey and I attended together, (the year before I still thought of Casey as Smitty's drunken idiot friend). Well how a year can change things, I was literally 3 days from turning 21 when that picture was taken. So surprisingly I didn't drink much that year I was too scared of getting caught. I enjoyed the music, time with friends and be young, dumb and stupid.



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I decided long ago that if and when I do photo memes, I will only do one a week. This week You Capture theme was not very fitting as in these moments quiet hurts. So when not doing You Capture, I will now be participating in Flash Back Friday. When I do it at all.

Healing Laughter

As far back as I can remember I remember hearing that laughter heals. Well as the sunny days are growing in number here, my heart is healing. Not only by the sunshine but by the laughter Ian and I share as we adventure out into this large world. We will learn together about all the things we can. I also want to mention how proud I am of FootFoot, Ian wanted to hold her leash at one point and since we live in a gated community I let him. The surprise of that situation was that I didn't have to pick up a crying baby for being pulled over by the dog. FootFoot did so well she stayed right beside he the whole time not pulling at the leash like she normally does, I think she truly loves him. She puts up with everything he throws at her (including when he actually throws things). If you can't tell I am also using this blog to heal, sometimes the words seem repetitive of other posts but at this point I don't care. Repetitive things have also helped me begin to heal, things I used to think of as mundane have become nice to do. They don't require any thought to do, doing the laundry (yet folding and putting away still allude me) has become calming. So as the days pass me by I am going to live every one of them to the fullest.



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Kroger Cart Buster Giveaway (closed)

Winner chosen by Random.org was comment number 3, I did not count my reply to a comment as part of the comments. So the lucky recipient is Kalee Marie.

True Random Number Generator

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3

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Working with MyBlogSpark, I recently heard of Kroger's cart buster savings event. I eagerly awaited my sales ad to come this week so I could plan accordingly on what to stock up on(I am in no way a coupon queen or even meal planning mama) but I still love savings.
When I opened my mailbox today there was the ad, I opened it up and saw Tide Laundry Detergent at a great price I knew that I would be stoking up on that. The other great deals are El Paso dinner making product 10 for $10, Betty Crocker cake mixes 10 for $10 and many more (all deals good for Dallas Area Stores through March 14). Now for the best part I get to give you my readers a $25 Kroger Family of stores giftcard(open to all us residents).

Mandtory Entry
Leave me a comment on the one pantry item you stock up on when you see it on sale?
Contest runs from March 11, 2010-March 18,2010.



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Disclosure: MyBlogSpark, the family of Kroger stores and General Mills provided me with a $25 gc to write about the Cart Buster Event and are providing the giftcard to the winner.

Walking on Sunshine

Today the sun returned and brought its friend warmth with it, I couldn't waste this day inside. So luckily Uncle Ga, was coming over so we could take an adventure. An adventure we had. I can't wait to have more adventures with my awesome explorer Ian, he loved it. I think this summer is going to be a ton of fun, oh the adventures we will take and the things that Ian will discover(and I will rediscover). I am so very thankful for all of life's lessons that I get to rediscover with Ian. Too see more pictures of our adventure's today click here.





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Let's Help Children's Medical Center

All of my fellow Dallas/Ft. Worth Area people, by attending the DFW Family Expo, this Saturday March 13. The Expo is taking place at Fair Park in Centennial Hall from 10am to 5pm. All proceeds from ticket sales benefit Children's Medical Center, tickets are $3 for 12 years and older, $2 for 2-12.

What does the Expo offer, From non-stop entertainment to a variety of the biggest and best retailers, service providers and product companies, to an on-site Resale Zone.



So bring out the family for a Saturday afternoon full of fun for all ages.



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Disclosure: I received tickets to the expo in exchange for this post.

Name Game

I was given some advice from a childhood friend's mama about healing from my our lost. She said that naming the baby and keeping something to remember are things she wishes she would have done. At first when facebook chatting with this friend I was a bit scared of the idea, but with time I realized her words were true. So then much thought went into what name would we give our angel.

While were thinking of a name, I went on a hunt for something to remember. First stop Etsy, I knew I would find what I was looking for(not that I knew what that was). After hours and hours of searching and being overwhelmed with the options. I finally choose two necklaces, I couldn't decide between the two(Casey said get both one was more fancy then the other). So I think I have rambled on enough, I would add a sono picture but I accidentally left the only one I had where we say the heartbeat at the dr's office. So instead I will, show necklaces with the name.

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The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow?

Since Saturday the skies have been dark and grey, what the hell mother nature? Aren't you putting me through enough right now, I need sunshine to heal. I am proud of myself, I went to a large consignment sale in the area on Sunday full of pregnant women of all stages and did not have a melt down. I did have a few thoughts of jealousy, but did not cry. I was given some advice by a childhood friends mom who went through the same, she said I should name the baby. I am unsure of this, I was only 12 weeks. What would you do?
Otherwise last weekend was uneventful I spent the weekend with my boys. I am so grateful that I have a loving husband and son. Today Ian came up and gave me hug while saying I love you just when I was feeling my lowest. He is like a little ray of sunshine. Casey has also been a great support, I am so lucky that he has been here to pick up the little pieces. I know that there is more to life then the overwhelming feeling of grief and with every passing day it becomes a little more manageable, one day in the hopefully near future I will wake up and not want to cry (maybe even I will post something that isn't be being sad).




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Nifty Nappy Review/Giveaway(Closed)

So the winner is Kalee Marie.


After I started staying at home with Ian, we started looking for ways to save money. One of the first things that came to mind was we should start cloth diapering, it took a couple of months but we got started and loved it. I started out with nothing but prefolds and covers, but after a few months and falling in love with cloth diapers I started exploring my options. Right before the holidays I stumbled upon a giveaway for Nifty Nappy, I fell in love with her prints and story behind why she started cloth. Well shortly after I contacted her and asked to do a review of her super cute diapers and surprisingly she agreed. She then suggested that I try one of her wool covers(I am not going to lie I was scared to try wool).


It all arrived and tore into it like a kid at Christmas, Ian was sent a Nifty Nappy in Oooga Booga in red and green(two of my favorite colors) and SuperDuper soaker in navy blue and grey. We have been using the Nifty Nappy and SuperDuper soaker for a couple of months now and only have had one leak and that was a night that Ian slept for 15 hours. They are a slim fitted diaper so when wearing his Nifty Nappy, he doesn't have the large cloth diaper tush(which I love) but when wearing certain pants comes in handy. I am totally in love with Nifty Nappy diapers, now that it is warmer I can't wait to see Ian run around in his little wool shorts.



Want to win a $35 gift certificate to the Nifty Nappy Store?
Mandatory Entry Visit Nifty Nappy and tell me which fabric you like the best.
Extra Entries
Follow Nifty Nappy's Blog.
Follow Nifty Nappy and KidtoGrownUp on twitter.
Tweet about this contest (can do this daily) come back and leave me the link to the status.
Add Nifty Nappy's Blog Button to your site.

<a border="0" href="http://www.niftynappy.blogspot.com/"><img border="0" width="150" alt="Nifty Nappy Cloth Diapers blog" src="http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4010/4250403507_4669e73497_o.jpg" height="150" /></a>

Contest Runs from March 8, 2010 to March 22, 2010. I will use random.org from comments to choose the winner.






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Disclosure: I was sent a Nifty Nappy and Soaker in exchange for this review. My Opions are my own.

Thankful Through The Darkness

This morning I woke up to grey skies and an even darker mood. I am lucky to have a husband who is willing to get up with Ian in the morning. I laid in bed this morning till I made myself get out of bed. I know that there will be days like today where I want to do no more then lay in bed all day cry and sleep. Instead I got up showered and lived life, I laughed at my sons antics, got annoyed with my husband, and then was easily swayed for a hug in trade for a Sonic drink. I can't let the darkness suck me in as much as some moments I would like too. I can not let my email sit there unanswered anymore, the laundry sit in piles untouched, let the phone go to voicemail those are life moments that are passing me by; while I am swimming in grief life keeps going so I must dive in. Readers I ask for your thoughts and prayers still, I need them for the strength to face today, when I can't even think about tomorrow.

While I have everyone's attention I would like to those who have donated, prayed, brought us meals, ans so on. None of that has gone unnoticed, I might not at the time said how grateful I am for all that you were doing but I was and still am. I m going to try and email, write and give hugs of thanks to all of you; but I am only human so if I miss you it wasn't on purpose.


Flowers sent by The Bradford's, they brightened my day.



Edible Arrangement from a Loving Group of Friends


Cookie's from Casey's office (hint if ever sent one let them set out all night they taste better stale).

I also want to thank all ladies for the the advice, support and reminding me I am not alone. I hope someday that I can repay you all for what you have given me. I forgot to mention that my Daddy even noticed and said something about how lucky I am to have met some many amazingly awesome people through blogging, twitter, etc. So again Thank You.




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Family

My Daddy drove here today to spend the day with Ian and I, he was telling me as he read yesterday's post he wondered if coming was what I needed. Then he got to the bottom and realized that he needs to visit more often, the time is flying so quickly Ian changes with every blink of the eye.

My home was full of love and laughter today, my heart was full of joy and for a moment all the sorrow of the past week was forgotten.

My family has always been my rock growing up and still today. My heart and soul is always full of joy when around them even in moments of sorrow.

I know that the way I felt today, will become how I feel most days. I am ready for the morning that wake up and feel hope instead of sorrow. I know that time is part of the healing process, the feelings that I am feeling now are not bad or wrong. That I have come to realize, I need to work through them and that takes time and a hug.

Thanks Daddy for taking the time to come and visit today. Sorry about the H3 hitting your car on the way home, luckily it was just their and a little dent. We have had enough happen to this family this week. Don't wait till hell freezes over to come visit next time.For the rest of the pictures from today.



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