Time is at a constant speed

That is what science says but in my world the last 7 months have flown by. On Jan 20, 2009 I had Ian and now it is August. What happened to that tiny slimy thing that was placed on my chest? How has he turned in to this handsome devil?
While waiting to see the Dr. for his 6 month check up, where he weighed in at an impressive 19lbs 9.3 oz and was 28 inches tall. His head though has measured small since birth they aren't worried but he is only in the 13 percentile.Unlike some babies his head has always been in proportion to his body. He had head control when he was born, I never head a bobble head. The first few months went by in such a blur. With the everyday stresses of new mother hood, the stress of Casey being laid off when Ian was 6 weeks old and then me returning back to work. That some of your first major milestones got overlooked sadly I can't remember the day he first smiled, and it took so long to capture it on film. I can't remember the first time he giggled but my days are now filled with his laughter and it is a beautiful sound. I may not remember when he did those first little things but that doesn't mean I love him any less. I now spend my days marveling at how with a blink of an eye you are becoming a toddler. In the past month he has discovered the baby in the mirror, become a crawling machine and a cruising monster who can pull him self up with little effort. I think that science lie because time flies.

100 Things

In no particular order a 100 random things about me. Some of them my surprise you, others you may already know but I can guarantee after this you are gonna think I am one crazy, unique woman.

1. I am a self confessed lover of trashy magazines.
2. I can't spell or use grammar (so just be patience with me).
3. I used to work as a wine consultant and loved every moment of it.
4. I didn't know a thing about wine when I got the job, learned alot while I was there though.
5. I married the love of my life.
6. I love landline phones.
7. My family is some of my best friends, I wish everyone could be so lucky.
8. When we first brought Ian home, I was more excited to see my dog then about bringing the baby home.
9. I would rather wear mismatched socks then mated ones.
10. I have always wanted to dye my hair blond.
11. I am terrified of iguanas and feet.
12. I had more jobs then years I have been alive and I think the experience gained with each one has helped make me a better employee at the next.
13. When Ian gets older and ask why can the dog sleep with you and not me, I will tell him the same thing my dad told me , "we love the dog more then you."
14. I enjoy reading blogs of people I will never meet who are not famous.
15. I miss Bob 2 (my first car that I owned)
16. I grew up in a church, and really wish that I would make myself commit to one again
17. I "collect" bags and shoes like some people collect art.
18. I love camping and being outside but I hate nature.
19. I drink my coffee blond and sweet.
20. I wish most days that cell phones had never been invented.
22. My biggest fear is not death but being the last one of my loved ones left alive.
23. My parents divorce did not happen soon enough in my opinion.
24. I find it amusing and am not at all ashamed that b-rons list of the ppl he can't stand is named after me. (Luckily I am no longer on that list)
25. I am an only child but I have four brothers and sisters.
26. I wish it was acceptable for adults to have imaginary friends.
27. I have the greatest Friends in the world, they help me to hold on to the little bit of sanity I have left.
28. I have a dog named FootFoot who thinks she is part cat and part human.
29. I once had a first date that lasted 3 days and there was no sex on that date.
30. I still read Nancy Drew Books
31. I miss living in my hometown, my family is to far away now to see whenever I want.
32. I can type and peel a banana with my feet.
33. I broke my arm at work once.
34. I want to travel to D.C. someday, just so I can see Oscar the Grouch
35. I wish that I was already pregnant with Baby 2
36. I have a small addiction to reality TV.
37. When I get my next tattoo I am breaking every rule, I every made for myself and I don't care.
38. Art is one of my passions even if I can't draw or paint worth a shit.
39. My best friends name is Laura yet I call her Lou, she says she hates it but when I call her Laura she looks at me funny.
40. My wedding had Man of Honor my friend GusGus who I don't see often enough.
41. When my Grannie passed away I was terrified that my family would fall apart (she was our rock).
42. I haven't finished college yet because I am terrified to choose a major and label myself.
43. I am a formula feeder but secretly wish I could have breastfed.
44. I love movies that other people hate. (i.e.: Centerstage, Monstersquad, Vibes, the Scream trilogy)
45. I am sad to say I don't really remember my Poppy.
46. I named my son after my dad and poppy to agitate my mother.
47. I had a car accident where I nearly died when I was 17, it was the most humbling experience of my life so far.
48. I never questioned God for putting me in that wheelchair, though I did question him six weeks later why Jen and not me? I still wonder why me to this day.
49. I started drinking coffee with my childhood friends Alicia's dad, I owe Bob so much he introduced me to so many things other then coffee.
50. My all time favorite book is To Kill a Mockingbird.
51. I have an unnatural obsession with Yoda.
52. I named a stuff rabbit after my crush when I was in preschool, the two meet when we were in high school thanks to my friends.
53. I still have that stuffed rabbit, he was made with love by my Grannie.
54. Of all the "That 70's Show" characters I relate to Fez the most.
55. Sometime I wish I could be a 1950's housewife
56. Every summer from mid-june til mid-august, I have severe insomnia.
57. I am a recovering pack rat.
58. I blogged off and on through college.
59. I debating weather or not to import those blogs?
60. I have always wanted to pierce my nose.
61. I have pierced my belly button twice, I never changed the barbell form the one they pierced it with.
62. I have metal in both my legs and I think the scars are sexy.
63. I have the best In-Laws, they are crazy and loud just like me.
64. I am love the fact that I am lost on the road map of life it just makes it more fun.
65. Cloth diapering is easier to me then disposables.
66. I can kill any plant, I am not blessed with a green thumb.
67. I can watch the same movies over and over again with out ever getting tired of them.
68. Most of those movies are musicals (Mamma Mia, Sound of Music, Mary Poppins, Etc.)
69. My dishes are fiesta ware and none of the colors match and I love it.
70. I hate snow, but think it is beautiful.
71. I have no problem with busting a move anywhere anytime.
72. Honestly I have no desire to own a home.
73. My bike is named after a Stargate SG-1 Character.
74. Holy cow this is hard, but I don't back away from hard.
75. I want to try out for Jeopardy
76. I miss the street Casey and I first lived together on.
77. We lived with 3 other guys.
78. Our neighbors from that street then are irreplaceable.
79. There was only one bathroom in that house.
80. If you walked by the dishwasher in the winter you got hit by a blast a cold air from outside.
81. Since I was 17 I have buried a friend every year, I am ready fro a year off.
82. I will have rangers season tickets someday.
83. I find this whole 100 thing extremely narcissistic.
84. Ian is the best thing I have ever done.
85. I still walk into my best friends parents house with out knocking.
86. I once took a nap with out anyone being there, when they found me they asked how long I had been there.
87. After answering 2 hours, Suzanne then asked me if I had eaten the left overs from the night before's dinner cause she had made spaghetti (which is my favorite thing she makes).
88. That was not the first time that I was caught taking a nap at their house nor was it the last.
89. I miss those naps.
90. In 4-H I caught the kitchen on fire, that is when the home ec teacher told em to not sign up for home ec in high school.
91. I am trying to be a better cook.
92. I plan on never cooking a turkey.
93. I love baking, I am trying to perfect my pumpkin pie.
94. I do not eat pumpkin pie.
95. I used to be allergic to coconut; but since having Ian I can eat it again.
96. We bought our living room furniture of craiglist.
97. My family thought my horse Native was crazy, he just didn't like any of them.
98. Native was the only horse I have ever had who enjoyed being groomed.
99. I am addicted to reality TV.
100. Toddlers and Tiara's is my newest obsession.

Drawing Strength From Being An Innie

Lets welcome our next fabulous guest poster, Sis from Reclaim Simplicity.

Like my belly button, I am a cave. I protect those who dwell within my
walls. I am isolated from the rest of the world for the most part unless I
choose to get some sun. Once in a while lint and dust collects on my
doorstep, but I just sweep it away. I hear more than a few rumors about
how outies are liberated, free to pursue their dreams and passions. If you
ask me, it's here in my place, where life happens. I don't draw a paycheck, but I am
rich. I'm an innie.

If you're are an outie, that's okay, most of my friends are outies. This
isn't about conversion. I'm not an expert on you, just me. This is about
my journey to become an innie and the strength that I draw from being one.
Maybe you will read this and find something you can identify with or
appreciate. Or not.

My Mom was an innie. Although college educated and could make more money
than my Dad, she chose to stay home. So you could say I didn't know any
different growing up until I became a nanny (outside of Washington, D.C.)
and became primary caregiver to three kids. I did my best, but fell miles
and miles short to the care that 'could have been' from their mom. When I
became engaged to Ben and we were talking about having kids this was my
response, "If we have one, we will have two. After that it's negotiable.
AND! I'm staying home with them, no matter what you make." Ben
agreed even though his mom was an outie. I was surprised, as she was a
high income earner, and fantastic mom. So far it's something we have never
regretted.

I've been at home now for basically 14 years with stints into part time
jobs or full time temporary ones. Nine of the years have been with kids
and otherwise a homemaker...this is what I've found.

I can stretch a dollar further than most because I have TIME to look for
great deals on insurance, mortgages, vacation needs, clothing, or whatever.

I save gobs of money on food because I have TIME to cook healthy meals from scratch.

I save gobs of money on heating and cooling because I'm here to feed the
fire, regulate the fans, and have TIME hang laundry out on the line.

My relationships are fuller because I have the TIME to pursue them. Having TIME to connect with your husband physically opens the door to
what's inside his heart. Isn't that what every girl wants?

Our boys see how we are ONE. A team of silliness where
they are key players, while developing our values by virtue of spending
TIME around us.

Since my housework is never done, I take TIME for me. I try to work out five times a week with a friend. This is a
physical and emotional need I have. Some weeks exercise isn't enough. So I
tell Ben I need a day off to pursue my own interests. He gladly gives, cause
even in my house. If mama ain't happy...

It all boils down to TIME. When it's gone you can't get it back.

If all that isn't enough. I really feel it was my calling. God made me (and most women) to nurture and love. He
made Ben to 'leave the cave, kill it and drag it home'. Two totally
different jobs for two totally different folks. When brought together in
marriage and the two becomes one, it's like the mystery of the ages as
been solved. Everything is complete. Yin and Yang. Peas and Carrots.
You've got the whole enchilada. Around here we say..."He makes the living.
I make it worth while." We are truly rich. Not a bad return for one very
average paycheck.

Are you an innie, a stay at home mom (SAHM), domestic engineer, homemaker,
housewife, your kid's mother, your husband's wife? Do you want to be?

Simply,

Sandhill Sis

P.S. ~ A 'BIG 'ole Texas THANK YOU' to Bobbi Janay (a fabulous innie) for
allowing me to guest post on her nifty blog. It was an honor. Ya'll come
and visit me at http://reclaimsimplicity.com for
more tips and tales about living simply.

Wordless Wednesday

I know this should be wordless but being that I am not on the internet this week. I wanted to stress the importance of reading to your children. Do you read to your child? We read to Ian at least once a day if not more he has books scattered throughout the house. He in the recent weeks has started interacting back with the books, if he isn't finished with the page when you turn it he wants you turn it back. So I guess what I am tryign to say remember to read to your kids.

Welcome Home Pudge

Casey and I had a date night, I know what is that. We went to the Rangers Games, it turned out that it was Pudge's return home. These tickets were purchased in advanced, I wasn't sure I wanted to go but it turns out it was a great night to go.

When I woke up that morning and realized that Paul McCartney was also playing at Cowboy's stadium, I decided not go. Casey was sad but he was supposed to be meeting our friend Lauren at the game and he was going with coworkers. Then Lauren ended up backing out due to having worked outside all day. While Gabe, Dustin, Ian, and I were wondering around Goodwill, Casey called and asked are you sure you won't come. That is when Gabe and Dustin where like when is the last time you had alone time with Casey, you should go. Well I after a quick change of clothes I was on my way to the train station, I had to meet up with Jenna, Cal, and Casey. I can't thank Gabe and Dustin enough for allowing me to have a night out with Casey.

The game was fun but of course the Ranger's blew their lead in the 6th inning. We did enjoy dollar hotdogs and overpriced beer. We left after the 7th inning since it was already 10 and everybody had to work in the morning. If you would like to see the rest of the pictures from the game click here.

A Friends Mantra

I am going off line for a whole seven days. Starting Sunday August 23, I will have guest post and a few written in advance posts from me. This first guest post is written from one of my In Real Life friends, that would like to vent about how some people only think of themselves and not how there actions effect those around them.

People are stupid

I haven't told many people this, but I have a mantra: "people are stupid".

The people I have told about this mantra have reacted in ways that I think indicate that I haven't done a good job of explaining what I mean by this phrase.

I do not mean:

• That I am smarter than anyone/everyone
• That many people are not intelligent
• That I hate people

When I am obligated to remind myself that people are stupid, I am reminding myself that people who are otherwise capable of doing things as complex as driving a car, paying their bills, and cooking food will nevertheless still make decisions to act stupidly, irresponsibly, immaturely, and cruelly or passive aggressively, even when they are old enough to know better and are perfectly capable of making a more intelligent choice. They just look at a situation, and they decide to be stupid. And to avoid responsibility for their actions by claiming ignorance or insisting that something they've done makes sense when it clearly doesn't. This is a ridiculous way for adults to act, because everyone around them can see what they are doing and recognize its absurdity, but it is how things are.

I don't mean that only people I don't know or people I don't like are stupid. No, unfortunately, many times when I have to remind myself that people are stupid, I am doing this to remind myself that people I love or am related to are equally capable of making a conscious decision to be stupid. They have made some decision to do something ridiculous that hurts me or upsets me because it was easier for them at the time. I just have to remember, people are stupid, and forgive them.

Another reaction I have received is that this is a very negative mantra. I beg to differ. Many times when someone does something completely ignorant and even dangerous, but there is nothing that I can do about it, I am able to "let go" of the anger, frustration, and helplessness by reminding myself "this is because people are stupid". Nothing more and nothing less. It is not personally directed against me, it is just people being stupid.

For example, when someone doesn't like how slow I am driving and makes a big show of passing me on a residential street (this happens to me periodically, the residential streets near my house are wide but the speed limit is 35 and I abide by it - no one else does), honking and flipping me off, I just sigh to myself and think "people are stupid". This reminds me that the person is fully capable of recognizing that what they did was wrong, reckless, and dangerous, but they did it anyway because they are a jerk. That person is acting stupid, but all people act like that.
It is normal, even though it is stupid.
People are stupid.
Repeat after me, and let go of the anger...

Ian need shoes

Momma Such at Raising My 4 Sons is having a giveaway for some awesome shoes, which Ian is desperate need of. His little feet have outgrown all of his shoes and with winter fast approaching shoes will become a necessary evil when leaving the house.



RaisingMy4Sons: See Kai Run Review and FREE giveaway!!!

Money Doesn't Buy Happiness

I grew up hearing this mantra repeated over and over again.It is true I would imagine, but it sure as hell helps. Things have been rough over the past few weeks, tiffs (arguments) have happened over stupid things and not so stupid things. The one reoccurring thing we fight about is groceries, how much is spend for what we get. I want to get away from using prepackaged they cost more in the long run and aren't healthy. How can I show him that fresh is better in the long run or frozen even is better then hamburger helper. I don't know how to explain to my husband these things are healthy.

Now on to what we have been arguing about, I think all of the stress of life are finally catching up with Casey and when they do instead of talking with me he starts to disconnect. It annoys me to no end. And this time of year is a rough time of year for me (that post is in the works). So while he disconnects I pull back because I need him to reach out and need me. I know from previous conversations when I point this out to him that he feels like he is burdening me when he talks about what is bothering me. I don't know how to explain to any other way that is what I am here for to help bear his burdens. Then the worst part of all this is we then forget, don't have time or Don't make the effort to reconnect physically.

I never realized until recently how much that physically intimacy effects us, we aren't an all over each other couple, but the subtle gestures happen often in our home. When they aren't happen we are quicker to snap at each other, quicker to start arguing, you get the point. I don't like being that way with each other. With the little intimacies not happening, that means the big intimacy is not happening.

With some discussion Casey realized that He can't withdraw from me and have the big intimacy when ever he wants. I am not just there to relieve tension, I need romance and to be wooed some. I know that those things are not as high a priority when worries of money, life, jobs, and other stress overcome but we all should remember (not just Casey) that your partner is the person who is there to help you overcome all your stresses.

Wordless Wednesday

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This time of year is rough

On August 14,2002 when I was 17 I had one of those life altering car wrecks. I shouldn't be here today, I was speeding and hit a tree on a back road on the way to my dad's house. I need to mention I was coming home from a funeral. I sat there in my car unable to reach my cell phone for at least 2 hours in the Texas heat until my neighbor drove up and found me. I was Care flighted from the scene, to Harris Downtown, where the first person there was my best friend Laura's mom Suzanne (she works downtown). I spent over a week in the hospital, I missed the first day of my senior year. It was a not a good time for me.

Things happened during the healing process that hurt me more then my car wreck did. I was living with my dad when my car wreck happened, I don't full understand the details of everything that went down in the week I was home from the hospital, nor will I probably ever know. All I know is that at the end of that week I was moved back in with my mom with out being asked if I wanted too. My mom and I were not on the best terms when I was made to move back in with her. I was left alone alot during the healing process because my moms work sch. and I was still angry at my dad.

Then as if I wasn't already hurting enough and being left alone with those angry thoughts. Is week later one of my class mates died in a car accident very similar to mine (side note I went to a tiny high school with less then 400 students in the whole high school). I was affected in so many ways by this incident, one thing I have never under stood why her and not me. There is nothing special about me.

Seven years later this all still haunts me. I can't talk about about it to my family because I feel like if I did they would say that I should move on it was along time ago. Are that they would say that why worry about the past. I am not saying my family is heartless but that they don't like weakness. So what is a crazy girl to do?

Letting Daniel Jackson Go.

So today I cleaned out my car of a little over 2 years for it to be picked up by the bank. We decided that with me staying home and Casey taking the light rail to work, we could survive with just one car. It was a sad day in some ways, I have changed so much since I got Daniel Jackson (yes I named my car). When I got him 2 years ago I still carried cozies everywhere, I found 2 in the glove box, 2 in the back of the seat pocket and 3 in the cargo space. Who would ever need that many cozies. Then I found CD's that I thought I had lost in random places, under seats, back of the seat pockets, under the mat in the cargo space. The best find was the cd of my Cousin Rusty singing, he passed away 2 summers ago at age 19 leaving a wife and 2 babies behind. The dent in the bumper came only 3 weeks after I got my car. I used to work at a dry cleaners and had to be at work by 7 am, one morning I wasn't paying attention and backed into a mailbox.

As of Friday we have been a one car family for a week, it hasn't been bad. It is a nice feeling to know that by only having one car we will be brought even closer together. I don't know what the future holds for us but I do know that we will get through it. I have only driven Casey to the train station once, I instead have been carless all day. This doesn't bother me this is the first time since I was 18 that I have been with out a car. I oddly enough I feel free.

You Capture

Motion is this week's theme. We were a the art museum a few weeks ago and my friend captured this amazing picture of me. It is probably my favorite of the whole day, we made our own art.

Party in the tub

Party in the tub
Originally uploaded by BobbiJanay

I love the look he is giving his daddy, I think his daddy may have just said something about going to bed. This is mostly a test to see how posting a picture from flickr works. Since I am up and all with a sick babe.

Sorry

For the mess I am in the middle of redesigning my blog. It will back to normal soon.

I guest posted

I was so excite when I got to write for her website I love her blog. So make sure you go over there today and check it out. Ramblings of a Texas Housewife

Wordless Wednesday

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Alone

I was banished from my house one Friday night by my husband to have a few hours to myself after snapping at him for no reason at all (well there was a reason at least in my mind but really it was stupid and me just being petty). So I packed up my old faithful laptop (that won't pick up Internet in my own home but has no problem with Starbucks signal), a book, a notebook (I write notes and such for my blog on paper so I don't forget them til I can expand on them), and headed down the road to Starbucks.

Where I met the nicest barista's I have ever had a Starbucks (the one on mcdermott in Allen,TX). They actually engaged me in conversation and feigned some interest in what I was doing there (or really good actors). They gave me a cup of warm coffee after I had been there an hour and half and was freezing cold (I had forgot a sweater.). Once there I was overcome with writers block for the first hour. I could throw it to matter what and I had a deadline to meet. Finally inspiration and I began to work. When I ran out my alot free Internet and it was rapidly approaching their closing time I packed up and headed home.

As I still hadn't finished the project that was due the next evening, I convinced my husband to yet again let me out of my house sans baby(twice in two days, happy happy dance). So yet again I was on the road to find me a place with free wifi and a place to plug my old school laptop. I ended up at a different Starbucks (Bethany and 75) lets just say that the experience was not nearly has nice. I had no choice but to write and write I did. I finished the task at hand and then moved on to compiling my shopping list with price match information. I was excited to find out that target now does price matching. This was exciting news to me as they seem to have fresher produce and better quality merchandise. While I was finishing up my grocery list this guy came in and sat down at the table across to mine with no book, music, computer and stayed for over an hour staring at me, it was major creepy.

I then went grocery shopping with out husband and baby, can someone say heaven. Basically what this rambling post is about is I got to spend time with me and it was great.

6 Months

These are Ian's first studio portraits, I think he did very well for a hungry man. It was time for him to eat when we took these pictures. These first 6 months have flown by I can't imagine how fast these next 6 will go?

Giving some love

I recently received my first blog award from Throne of Thornes, thanks. I am so excited to be able to now give the love back to of the lovely's that I read.

The only rule of this award is that those that receive mus share the love.

with out further ado I give the love to:

• Canadian Bald Guy
• Angel
• Acidicice
• Exmi
• Momma Sunshine
• JJust Kidding
• Kristen

Blog Awards

Given by: JJust Kidding (8/11/2009)

Given By: Throne of Thornes (8/9/2009)

Given By: Angels Mind (9/17/09)

 

Given By: Zealand's Mom (9/29/09)

Feelin the Love


 

Semi- Crunchy or Frugal?

Is it possible to be semi-crunchy? I would think if it is then that is what I am. I recently with the help of Vanessa, we hung clothes line across my patio. It was quite an adventure trying to cut plastic covered clothesline with kitchen shears. Then trying to figure out how and where to place the clothes line where the patio was still somewhat usable. Once all was said and done and we were sweating like crazy(I forgot to mention this was at four in the afternoon) I have a functioning clothes line which I have used almost everyday since. Since someone so small dirties more clothes then whole sports teams wear.

Now back to the Semi-Crunchy idea, I am switching to cloth diapers (whole post within itself) this week not only because they are better for the environment, they are better for Ian's skin too (less chemicals), they will save us money in the long run (yay, for saving money), and I won't have to run to the store for diapers. With starting cloth diapers I am going to start making my own baby wipes with baby wash clothes and a little bit of Burt's Bees Head to toe wash and water (this is mainly to save money). I am also trying to switch to less chemical filled products for cleaning and other such purposes. Which I have found vinegar, baking soda, and other such things our grandmothers use work best and are normally the cheapest. I am currently reading a book called Good House Magic which is all about doing things cheaper and easier. Not only am I trying to find less chemical filled cleaning product but baby care products also. I am a huge fan of the Burt's Bees line of baby care products called Baby Bee. Their diaper rash cream is amazing and to top it off smells good too. I know that the Burt's products are a little more money but they smell great and have less chemicals. We also made homemade pizza tonight that cost less then $5 for the both of us to eat with enough ingredients left over for me to make my self pizza for lunch in the next week. Also we are trying to incorporate one meatless meal into the rotation every week. We have cranked the thermostat up to above 75 degrees, this by far has been the toughest for me. So does anybody else have any good tips on how to save money?

Wordless Wednesday

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